Taking my Leave

Subject: Taking my Leave Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:07 am

Since my car accident, things have slowly, but surely, piled on. In the recent months, I lost my home, my sister is now 23 months pregnant, I may not go back to college, I am well over $300 in debt (not counting hospital bills), I am working 60 plus hours and not getting out of said debt, and I'm in pain. I'm currently sleeping on the floor of my friend's one bedroom apartment, which is not helping my back and hip and only increases the pain when I go to work. I am getting roughly 3 hours of sleep a night, if that. The only thing keeping me going and, really, making me feel human, is my girlfriend.

However, that is not enough.

Because of the unholy amount of shit that's piling up, I am finding my usual tolerance for stress breaking. I am usually able to block the pain, but since the accident, I've been unable to completely. For the first time in nearly six years, I am feeling the full effect of my back pain. At times, it's hard to breath. For the first time since my OD, I've been considering going back to the pain killers that nearly took my life.

My girlfriend told me yesterday that I don't smile anymore. I look like I was robbed me of my humility and replaced it with pain. I feel she is right. I did indeed lose my smile. I need to find it again before I break. I do not believe I can survive another break. Not this time. That is why I must go. I must make the journey on my own. There isn't much else I can do until I get my smile back.

I will still manage the writing contest. Email your entries at joshuaknels@live.com. If you still wish to talk to me, I will be on Skype and MSN. Just don't expect me to be very talkative.

I bid thee farewell until I've found my smile.

Subject: Re: Taking my Leave Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:27 am

I've had my own moments of depression too. I don't want to sound like I'm comparing my problems with yours now, but it's true; I don't wear a smile on my face all the time. What I do know is that when the world isn't spinning your way, it's always best to think positive, no matter how hard it gets. Being negative will get you nowhere, and will only make matters worse. You're a strong guy, mate, I know that, and you will get by all your problems just before you know it. Heck, you wrote a novel when nobody believed in you. I personally thought you had a chance, but truthfully, I never thought you would ever make it. I'll admit it, your book has inspired me in many ways, all because you didn't give in. I therefore thank you, and would be proud to call you my friend.
All I have to say is never give up, and hang in there. On behalf of the forum, I wish you the best for what's to come.

Subject: Re: Taking my Leave Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:39 am

Farewell, you're always welcome back, you are a great member and a even better friend, you helped out so much and I'm sorry to see you leave, I'm sorry to see you're in a dark spot right now, I hope soon you're able to get back up and onto your feet. Good luck and I hope to see you on your feet soon.

Subject: Re: Taking my Leave Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:24 am

Bye, JJ! I hope everything turns out good for ya. You'll be back, better than before, and I know it! Good luck!

Subject: Re: Taking my Leave Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:43 pm

I wish you the best of luck, bro.
Just stay positive as kimo said!
Hope to see you back very soon my friend.

» Taking leave of absence
» Sudden Leave
» Taking a little break.
» Taking a Break, and Here is Why
» Leave of absence