School of Heros

Nour Zohry stood in the hallway of The School of Heros, she was about 5 feet tall, she was very pretty, having dark skin and long dark hair, and was about 16 years old. she was wearing the school uniform:a button-up shirt, and plaid skirt. her button-up shirt was black, and she was wearing blue tights with her skirt.
It was her first day at the school, and she had arrived 15 minutes early to class. Naturally, the room was still locked. Nour was leaning against the wall, watching the flickering hall light.
As Nour was leaning against the wall, she heard a sudden thudding sound coming from a nearby closet. despite an uneasy feeling, she decided to ignore it. The sound continued, and Nour eventually lost her patience.

"Hmm?" Nour thought as she walked up to the closet, and quickly flung it open.

there, laying on the floor, was a black-haired boy. His hair was messy and about neck length, he was wearing an un-tucked white, button-up shirt with a purple tie with a yellow line across it
and black jeans. He looked up at her from the floor and chuckled abit.

"Hey, fancy meeting you here." said the boy.

Nour didn't know what to think. It looked like he lived in there, and judging by the lack of anything other than a bed and some hentai doujinshi, he didn't do much other than sleep.

"Hello?" said the boy, obviously annoyed by Nour's lack of a reply.

"Oh... hi." said Nour, un-enthusiastically. "what are you doing in this closet? there are dorms here."

"Oh, that." said the boy "i cant be frigged to walk all the way from the dorms to class, so i just sleep in the closet. I go to class 18G."

"Oh God..." said Nour, realizing she is in the same class as this guy.

"What's the problem?" he said with a scowl

"I'm in the same class as you..." Nour said, with a disgusted look.

"What exactly is the problem with that? you don't even know me." the boy said, walking out of the closet. "in fact, who even are you? i haven't seen you around."

"I'm Nour Zohry, i'm new." she said, not even bothering to ask his name.

"Oh yeah? and what is your ability? if you think you're too good to ask my name."

"i dont have any powers perse'." she said, turning to walk away.

"well, then we had better see what you can do. you're here for a reason, and im going to be the first to know. i challenge you to a Hero's duel!"

"a what?" said Nour, turning back, slightly.

"a hero's duel" the boy said, yawning "basically we fight each other and the winner is the one left concious."

"oh." said Nour, bored with this boy already.

the boy then took off his belt and swung it down towards the floor, the belt glowing a yellow color and becoming hardened. Nour froze, seeing he was serious.

"my name is Arc Matsuda, remember it! ready or not, here i come!" he said charging forward.

Nour regained her senses and jumped back, her shadow seeming to extend as she shouted "Come! SupaSmash!" a white armored robotic arm extending out of her shadow and grabbing Arc's belt.

"what the!?" arc exclaimed, in wide-eyed surprise as a white armored robot rose out of Nour's shadow. when it had fully exited the shadow he could see it clearly.

the robot was wearing white armor with short blades retracted against it's wrist and calf, it had a green visor across where a person's eyes would be, and a long, metal, gold colored V on it's forehead.
it also had black vents on it's chest, it didn't seem to have a mouth, just metal plating. it had 2 metal blocks with slits where ears would be, and thrusters on it's back.

gripping Arc's belt tightly, the robot spoke in a loud, harsh, monotone voice with a low mechanical whirring sound in the background. "I like ponies..." it said, rotating it's lower body all the way around and sending Arc flying with a hard kick to the stomach.

"what you should have asked me is 'what are your skills?', not 'what are your powers?'." said Nour, harshly. "i am the youngest, smartest, most skilled robotics expert in the world."

"don't be so confident that you have won, just because of one surprise attack, i'm not finished yet!" he said, taking off both of his shoes and wearing them on his hands like gloves, both shoes glowing yellow.

"SupaSmash, control mode!" Nour said

the robot launched a Playstation 3 controller out of it's back, the controller landing in Nour's hands.

The robot then shouted, in a voice that could make anyone tremble with fright "You can haz Waffle!" and flew towards Arc with extreme speed.

Arc layed down on his back, dodging a the robot's attack, and thrust his hands upwards, slamming the robot up into the cieling, seemingly causing no damage to the robot, or the cieling.

the robot immediantly flew down to the floor, seemingly un-phased by the attack and engaged it's arm blades, slashing downwards at Arc's head, barely missing as arc rolled out of the way, and jumped to his feet
and ducked, dodging another swing of the robot's blade, then thrusting his arms forward. the robot easily grabbed both of Arc's hands, shouting "All your base are belong to me!" just as the robot said that, the bell rang.

hearing the bell, arc said "we will finish this some other time..." putting his shoes back on, then noticing the crowd that had gathered around them during the fight.

Nour looked around, looking over the excited faces. "you haven't even seen SupaSmash's full potential yet." she said with a smirk.

"trust me, you don't want to be late for class..." Arc said, walking into the classroom.

Nour shrugged, starting to make her way to the classroom as SupaSmash vanished back into her shadow, but feeling a hand grip her shoulder.

it was a pretty girl, about 5'3", with long brown hair, with a pink butterfly clip on the side, and dark grey, metallic looking eyes, she was wearing the school uniform, but her button-up shirt was yellow.
standing next to her was a boy with black hair, about 5'9", wearing a black suit and blue tie.

the girl spoke softly "that was quite the fight, at least the part i saw." she said, brushing her hair back with a smile. "i'm Danna Tanaka."

"i'm centrik, and you're Nour, pleasure to meet you."

"umm... nice to meet you, too." Nour said, abit surprised to have been approached by the duo.

"we were just telling you that we are taking you with us on our next mission, and no, you have no say in the matter." said Danna, strolling into the classroom, pulling Centrik with her.

Nour, wondering if the day's excitment ended here, followed them into the classroom.



to be continued...

Besides capitalization it seems good so far.

Putting his shoes to his hands is...O_o

Centrik wrote:

Putting his shoes to his hands is...O_o

He took off his shoes. Didn't turn into a human pretzel.

Angelic-Machine wrote:

"don't be so confident that you have won, just because of one surprise attack, i'm not finished yet!" he said, taking off both of his shoes and wearing them on his hands like gloves, both shoes glowing yellow.

Capitalization aside, it's kinda not really long enough to judge. And events flow too fast, like the beginning, where it feels much more like a summary than actually story-telling though.

hey i know i said lazy but.. i didn't exactly mean THAT lazy D:
it's fine ;o

it was ok. but im not big on this tape of reading but i do gave it 6 out of 10

final1230 wrote:

it was ok. but im not big on this tape of reading but i do gave it 6 out of 10

I give this comment a 0/10.

He meant 10/10, he just didn't hit the "1".

I give it a 10/10 as well

Didnt like the robots words. "I like ponies?" extreme mood killer.

was good tho