I've spent time in studios and have heard many beats for a studio my father used to work for called HMF. They were a rap group and pretty average I must say. I had no room to criticize back then because I was a kid and couldn't spit out words properly like I do now. I would have to say that your beats are pretty below average. There's no real dynamic going on throughout the song and it lacks authenticity of the hip-hop feel.
I assume that's the genre you're aiming for after taking a quick glance at a few other of your beats and they're all pretty much at the same standard. Making hip-hop is not an easy genre anymore, rather it's pretty competitive no matter what aim you're looking at (underground or mainstream.) You're trying to be Indie at the moment so seeking professional assistance is a daunting thing to look up to. So it's your choice what quality and path you want to take with your beats and your rapping (assuming you want to go somewhere with this rather than having this as a hobby. If it's a hobby then you should stop and do something else. If it's a career path, you have a lot of work to do.)
One thing that did annoy the hell out of me, not to sound mean or anything just a criticism, was the constant "echo" during the verses. It doesn't sound good unless you're trying to create some kind of vocal harmony that you don't even see often in hip-hop. The chorus as well was horrendous. Simply put. It's not even half-assed, it's just you barely raising volume in your voice saying "don't give up." You have to have a hook that's catchy and easy to listen to. Usually a vocalist or your own vocals with different notes and melodies implemented in the background with either harmonious selection of beats or authentic instruments.
Simply making a song is not as easy as you think it is and again, not to sound like a hard ass, but music is my passion and I am also a huge music critic. Keep working and practicing, and take into consideration that you're making music, not some mechanic poem with some slap effects here and there. Music has to be alive and moving and you need to put some soul into it on your next attempt. Take the more mainstream artists such as Nas, Jay-Z, Eminem, Lupe Fiasco, and hell even Drake. Listen to their mixtapes and examine/analyze what they do both instrumentally, lyrically and just listen to how it all harmonizes together. Best songs to listen to is to listen to Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind (Instrumental) if you want to know where my critical approach is coming from. Lyrically just read anything Lupe Fiasco and Nas say in their latest songs. Their content is golden. Harmony is found in plenty of Eminem's songs and even Tech-9 can find beats to be harmonious. Just keep working hard and you'll improve overtime (it won't come quick to you I promise.)
